Dipping my toes in.

Guess who's baaaaack?

Well, it's almost the opposite. I never really went anywhere. This has been a season of withdrawal.

This past school year was about as opposite from the previous one as it could have gotten. This past school year my goals were very different. In the previous years, my goal was to be as 'out there' professionally as I could. I wanted to be in the know, to be seen and heard for what I was doing and what I had to contribute. I wanted to go to all the conferences, attend all the Twitter chats, and be in every conversation.

But, this past school year was different. My priorities were different. We had a beautiful baby girl, Avery, in March and much of my year was spent preparing for her. I struggled so much with postpartum depression with my first child, and wanted to be completely prepared when our little girl came to love and appreciate our time together as where I felt I was robbed of some of that with our first. I'm rounding the corner towards graduation in my Master's program at Purdue and spent ALOT, read A. LOT. of time doing work for graduate school. We moved across town, technically to another town. I spent time making our new house a home. I spent time on myself, both physically and intellectually. I became stronger in both ways and appreciate that time I took, selfishly or otherwise.

When I first realized I was in a season of withdrawal professionally, I became really concerned. I worked so hard the two years before to put myself in a position where I felt like I had some importance and a place in a community where I was respected and understood. My withdrawal was unintentional, and so when I realized it was happening I felt like it was happening to me, in spite of my efforts. It took a few important conversations with a few important people to realize that my withdrawal from the business (read: busy-ness) of my career was not happening to me, but rather because of me.

I, well we, chose to grow our family and it was one of the best decisions of our lives. Our daughter is perfect in her own way and a perfect fit for us. I chose to go back to graduate school, to put me in a better place to make a larger impact in my field. I love my field and have really found my niche. I chose to take time and improve my health and my happiness to be better in every area of my life.

But now it seems that the withdrawal that I first scorned and dreaded has become something that I love and appreciate. I will never again have this tim in my life. I'll never again have sweet moments with my newborn baby girl and her, uh, rambunctious, three year old brother. I'll never have the opportunity to work hard for this Master's degree and glean all that I can to make me a better educator. I'll never have the opportunity to lay the groundwork for what I hope is a very long and healthy rest of my life.

When August rolls around I'll embark on a new adventure as the Lead teacher of the STEAM magnet program at Oakdale Elementary School in Rock Hill. This new job will lead me back to my passion of PBL and STEAM education, and I truly could not be happier. However, I'm worried that with putting more 'mph' back into my career I'll lose the happiness I've built in my time away. Balance is the key to life and I know that, but figuring out this balance will inevitably take some time. My hope is to be intentional, always, with how I'm dividing my time and efforts as to not lose the happiness I created over the past year, but to instead compound it with my new position in a new school.

Thanks for sticking with my as I dip my toes back into the proverbial water, and hopefully by August I'll be ready to go head-first.