Monday, November 2, 2015

Straddling the Gap.


This photo of a video taken by a Spring Valley High School student shows Senior Richland County Deputy Ben Fields trying to remove a student who refused to leave her math class. AP

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/article41717100.html#storylink=cpy

By now, most everyone in the country has heard about the incident in Columbia, South Carolina at Spring Valley High School where the white School Resource Officer was eventually fired for his forceful removal of a black teenage girl over what began as the use of a cell phone in class. 

When I first saw the headlines that a former student posted on Instagram, I let out an audible sigh. 
I used to work in that school district. I loved everything about it. Every difficult, satisfying, sometimes ugly thing about working with some really difficult, but amazingly wonderful kids. And I knew the mud slinging was about to start from people placing blame on both sides. It’s one of those things that make you just want to look away because people you know let out all kinds of ugly, but that is the worst thing to do. 

My heart aches on both sides, and sometimes it is so hard to be in the middle.

My heart aches for the Officer, who is now jobless, with his image strewn across the Internet labelling him as racist, abusive, criminal, and many other awful things that will likely prevent him from getting a job in law enforcement ever again. I know what it’s like to be white in a school that is predominately minorities and to be called a racist. I know what it’s like to wish people could see inside your heart to know what your true intentions are, even though there is no way they would ever believe you. I know how hard it is to look at a kid who doesn’t listen to anyone and try to get them to follow the rules. I know how frustrating it can be to feel like you are losing authority in your classroom and how crucial that authority can be to the learning environment, when all the students are at school to do is to learn. I know the struggle of having to make split second decisions in the heat of a moment and to question whether or not the decision was the right one, even if not to the magnitude this officer does. I know how those decisions can haunt you if you question, even for a second, that you did the right thing. 

And, my heart also aches for the student. She is now the subject of a controversial, nation-wide story on racism and police brutality, when, let’s be serious, being a 16 year old girl is hard enough as it is. She had her personal life exposed for millions when people spoke of deaths in her family, not to mention the millions of people constantly watching what had to be one of the worst moments of her life. She suffered physical injuries, but we cannot even begin to imagine the emotional and mental scars she’ll bear as a result of this incident. She’s been labeled and will continue to be labeled a victim for years to come when people use her as an example of awful things when they happen in the future, as they undoubtedly will. How will she be able to continue school without judgement from people who feel the Officer’s termination was wrong? How much discrimination will she face because of this? I’ve seen students who are labeled in schools and how, even though educators try their best to eliminate such bias in the classroom, many are unable to shake their perceptions when it comes to these students. 

With every article and comment coming across my newsfeed and timeline I want to scream out on both sides. Defending him. Defending her. Because I feel so much in the middle. But no one wants to be in the middle. Everything about this incident screams polarization. But, empathy. Empathy, the gift and curse that it is, compells me to feel pain for both of them. To see faults from both of them. To defend both of them. 

But no one wants to hear that. 

Sometimes it is difficult to straddle the gap, but when the ground splits beneath you sometimes you land with a foot on each side. 

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