Wednesday, February 11, 2015

I'm Sorry

Today I got an apology from a middle school boy.

It was short and to the point. All he said was, "I'm sorry I freaked out on you Coach K."

I told him it was ok, and that I appreciated it.

That's all we said, and that's all that needed to be said. But that is all it took to bring tears to my eyes today.

It's that time of year that wears teachers' patience thin. Christmas Break is long gone, and Spring break is too far ahead in the future to provide much of anything to look forward to. Our 8th graders came back from Christmas break a little more mature, and thinking a lot more like high schoolers than middle schoolers. The only trouble for middle school teachers is that they are still in middle school, and middle school is not quite the same as high school.

The kids are in a weird place where they've had four day weeks for the past month and so now the school days seem long. They're testing the waters all over again seeing how much the tired teachers will tolerate before a reprimand is given. Today was no different.

No less than ten minutes after a 'no horseplay at recess' announcement had been made did I see two boys almost tackling each other to the ground. I called them over and asked them if they had heard the announcement. They said yes, and I asked them if they knew that I was supposed to send them to in school suspension for horse-playing. They started whining, "No way! Are you serious? Come on," to which I told them the announcement had LITERALLY just been made and asked what did they expect. The other teacher on duty had just sent a boy to in school suspension not ten minutes ago for the same thing. This is what I heard from one of the boys as they began to walk to the ISS room:

"This is the most stupid thing I've ever heard. Are you freaking kidding me right now?"

Woaaaaaa, nelly. That had me seeing red.

I kept my cool and called the boy back over. I very carefully asked him, "What did you just say?"

"This is so stupid," he said as his face got more red and I could see the beginning of tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm going to give you a chance to take a breath and take it back, if you want to. Do you want to take it back," I asked him.

 I wasn't sure which way he'd go, honestly. He and I have gone rounds all year. He doesn't get along well with a few other teachers because he does have a bit of a smart aleck problem, but I really think he's a good kid.

You could tell he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do. I could see him trying to read my face, but I wasn't showing a whole lot to him.

"I take it back," he huffed and looked at the ground.

I told the two boys that since recess was almost over to just go sit on the sidewalk until the bell rang. They didn't even have time to walk down to ISS before we'd have to return to class.

So when that same boy walked up to my classroom during 7th period locker time smiling, I wasn't sure what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you Coach K," he said and smiled at me sheepishly. I could tell he meant it. I told him it was ok; I told him I appreciated his apology and he left.

It takes a lot for a middle school boy to apologize for anything. I could have easily written him up for disrespect. He tugged on a string with his harsh words, and I contemplated making a bigger deal of the whole comment than a time-out on the sidewalk. But, I'm glad I didn't. I know there are days when I need a little grace, too. I know how hard it can be to say 'I'm sorry' when you know you've said something you didn't mean. I know how much courage it must have taken for him to decide to apologize. That apology was a much more meaningful lesson than any trip to in school suspension would have been. Now, don't get it twisted and think he is a changed kid. He and I will probably go rounds later on this week about incomplete homework or talking during instruction, but for today we're all gravy.

I'm counting today as a win and leaving with a smile.

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