Make Your Deposits.

Most adults, by the time they feel comfortable referring to themselves as adults, have a pretty solid understanding of balancing a budget. While some of us may put this understanding into practice better than others, part of being an adult is understanding the basic principle that you cannot withdraw from a bank more than you deposit. Sure, there are ways to bypass that principal using credit cards and loans, but there are penalties associated with those services and usually you end up paying more than what you borrowed. It boils, very simply down to this: if you want to make withdrawals, you must first make deposits.

Recently I was reflecting on the year so far with one of my students. We were having a conversation about classroom styles and how the atmosphere of each teacher's classroom is sort of like their home: each one is a little different depending on the teacher. I asked this student, whom I have no problems with behaviorally or academically, why he tends to be off task or misbehave in other classes when it seems to be easy for him to succeed in others.

In a moment of intense honesty, he said, "I don't know. I guess it just depends on whether or not I think they really care. Because, I guess, if they don't care about me, why should I care about what they want me to do?"

Perceptive little creatures, middle schoolers can be.

I really think that sometimes we, myself included, request lots of withdrawals from students without making the proper deposits first. We ask a lot of our students every day; we ask them to give us their attention, respect, questions, concerns, weaknesses, and strengths, all while putting them in an environment where they have little to no control. Ask those things of a group of adults, and you may get a few who oblige, but I believe many of us would at best struggle to give all of those things to someone who is not required to reciprocate the exchange.

I try to make a conscious effort to deposit into my students every chance I get, because I know that I'm constantly asking for things from them. I compliment their haircuts. I ask them about their sports teams. I tell them I'm glad they're back if they've been absent. I engage in conversation. I even play them back in Trivia Crack, and obviously dominate. But for me, showing that I am invested in the relationship as well as the education pays off in triple the interest than any withdrawal I make without first giving.

We have to first make deposits and let them grow before we attempt to withdraw too much from them. We need to help the relationship mature and grow so that when we do need to ask things from them, they have more to give. They are more willing to try. They want to succeed.

Just remember to make your deposits. Even if it's not every day, those deposits will grow and you'll be rewarded with infinitely more than you ever gave.